Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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