Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Randomize
