It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
