You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
