I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
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