She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
