So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
and you fell through a lawn chair
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Please don't give away my fajitas
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
