Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Randomize
