Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
