Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
