I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
