what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
