I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
and you fell through a lawn chair
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Randomize
