when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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