yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
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