Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
