if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I smell like Dick and happiness
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
