I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize