Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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