y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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