like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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