I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize