Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
