Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Randomize
