Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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