Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
