that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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