Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
