you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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