I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize