Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I did not marry a roomba.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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