Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
