I am spending my child support on dildos
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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