the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
