You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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