masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
