We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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