I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
