At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Randomize