if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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