Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
