i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
i think im in europe. pls send help
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize