just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
