Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
