that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
