so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
