The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize