just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
they need to just BURY HIM!
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
