Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I am never drinking with the goths again.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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