Whod you bang
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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