Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
People in love make me want to vomit
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
