wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
