If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
