Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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