hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
We had sex on a dog bed..
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
