So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
