Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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