There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I think I am morally bankrupt
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
