yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
