: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
