i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
