I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
