Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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